I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
