is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
