She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
