We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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