I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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