If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize