Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We are all done wearing pants today
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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