listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize