We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
