I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
