Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize