Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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