i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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