it's like iHOP with fire
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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