Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
