I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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