I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The convent might be a nice break from real life
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
