Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
