it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
