what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
