Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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