How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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