I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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