I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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