I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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