ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize