This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
