Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My ATM looks so different sober.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
