Your face is a jimmy john
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
