fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
