it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize