how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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