I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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