I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
