Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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