Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm too high and old for this...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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