You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize