I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
