i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he fucked my hip out of place.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
