My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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