so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we made out on top of his cat.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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