then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
