it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
