just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
