im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize