It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
