I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
