Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
