Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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