Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
