I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
