i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
