You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
