Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
