Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
