im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
