i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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