At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
