she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Operation Purity has been aborted
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
