sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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