i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
