i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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